Jacqui’s Story

Jacqui Watson may have been having cancer treatment, but she was determined not to feel like a cancer patient, with caring people’s pitying reactions.

So, Look Good Feel Better became a beacon of hope during the hardest struggle she has ever had to face.

“Suddenly everything is taken from you and you’re just clinging to a lifeline. I was grasping at anything to make sense of the situation and connect with people that understood how I might be feeling,” she says.

“You have no control. You definitely have no pride – all of the poking and prodding and procedures. You need something to hang on to.”

She was recommended Look Good Feel Better by her cancer specialists, a service for anyone with any cancer at any stage. She signed up for a free online signature skincare & make-up session to learn ways to mask the visible side effects of cancer and connect with others on a similar path.

“Being able to do something for myself that wasn’t work or treatment made me feel like I was finally in control of something. And I definitely didn’t want to feel like a cancer patient,” she says.

Her diagnosis was a complete surprise, her cancer detected during a routine mammogram. And it came when the Whakatane woman had spent a year patiently growing her hair back to its natural colour. She was sidelined with the words “You’re going to have chemo; your hair is going to come out”.

“I phoned my hairdresser and said, ‘Cut my hair off, because I do not want to see it fall out, I absolutely can’t wake up in the morning and see clumps on my pillow’.”

Then treatment took its toll, and Jacqui wanted to disguise that she had lost her hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, particularly at work.

“I got the wig. I got the headscarf. Because I was immunocompromised, I’d have to put a mask on for work, which you can’t do while you’re wearing a wig. So the wig got popped in the cupboard. I wore the headscarf for one day and I felt like a cancer patient because of the way people were looking at me. I thought ‘This isn’t me being normal’. So, I decided to shelve the scarf and just rock the bald look.”

It was Look Good Feel Better that empowered her, she says, teaching her how to apply make-up and mimic eyelashes.

“I was on this roller coaster ride. I was being pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions. I felt like I was the object of attention and an outsider. But with the Look Good Feel Better class I was suddenly included and part of a group that knew what I was going through and could relate to how I felt. And that in itself made me feel better.

“I popped on my eyebrows and eyeliner for work, and I felt so much better. Just a little more normal. To actually achieve a look that you’re happy with for the new you or the current you or the new-you-want-to-turn-yourself-into you, it was an achievement.”

It prompted Jacqui to look at other sessions to help her face cancer with confidence – the on-demand breathing videos proved incredibly helpful.

“I had radiation coming up. Because my breast cancer was on the left-hand side, I had to hold my breath during radiation. I was allergic to the second regime of chemotherapy and my lungs completely gave out and I ended up in hospital as I could hardly breathe. And that terrified me.

“I found those videos and breathed along with them. They were really relaxing, and it did help get my breathing back under control. I managed to get myself back to the lung capacity I needed to continue with my treatment. Again, another achievement thanks to Look Good Feel Better.”

She is grateful to have been so well supported by her partner Andrew, saying, “He’s been my absolute rock through all of this. It doesn’t just affect the person, it affects your family, your workplace, your hobbies, your entire life.

“The problem with cancer is you don’t know when it’s going to hit you. It’s not just women. It’s not just my age group,” she says.

“Look Good Feel Better is the perfect platform to feel like you have a little control and to achieve what you need to achieve during what is otherwise a crazy situation.”